May 2009
20 posts
“I heard this lady say “i love kids.” that’s nice, a little...”
– Demetri Martin
“I was in a shoe store and the guys call me boss, and i said, “ya, can i...”
– Demetri Martin
“A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like “What’s...”
– Demetri Martin
“I love women, but I feel like you can’t trust some of them. some of them...”
– Demetri Martin
“Some jokes are short and elegant, like a mathematical proof or a midget in a...”
– Demetri Martin
“Those that say their glasses are half-full are considered optimists. Yeah, but...”
– Demetri Martin
“Sometimes, when something really great happens to me, I like to wait two weeks...”
– Demetri Martin
“One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad...”
– Demetri Martin
“About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed...”
– Demetri Martin
“I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of...”
– Demetri Martin
“I like to use ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ on my...”
– Demetri Martin
“I like clothes, you know. I dig fabrics. One of my favorite clothing patterns is...”
– Demetri Martin
“I got some new pajamas with pockets in ‘em. Which is great, because before...”
– Demetri Martin
“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just...”
– Demetri Martin
“I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper....”
– Demetri Martin
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s learning...”
“Everybody wants happiness
nobody wants pain
but you can’t have a rainbow...”
“You laugh because I’m different,
I laugh because you’re the same”
Hello Stars
Hello Stars
Twinkling nightlight to the trees
Blanketing the Earth in a muted glow
Don’t bid farewell
Don’t hide your face, your gentle allure
Beneath the silhouetted wisps of clouds
Come back with frosty fingers and hair of velvet
Dress the Earth in a silver mist
Crack of dawn rises up to steal you away
Don’t leave me starving
